Thursday, 22 November 2012

Tales of the Unexpected: The Unseen Episodes




Pish

An American gourmet (Ed Bishop) and his wife (Suzy Kendall) invite a fellow gastronome (Lionel Jeffries) to a dinner party. The visitor has a hard-on for the host's beautiful young daughter (Linda Hayden) and begins to boast of his achievements in a lewd and seditious manner.

The host grows weary of the innuendo as the meal continues and when drinks are served he seizes the opportunity to undermine his rival and dares him to take the Pepsi Challenge. The atmosphere is tense as visitor agrees and both parties set a wager: if the visitor wins he gets to shag their daughter while her parents watch; if the host wins he gets to chop off the visitor's manhood and feed it to his dog.

As the host's wife goes to fetch the drinks she notices a stray pubic hair on the side of the open Pepsi bottle and senses something untoward. She sniffs the glass and retches. Someone has tainted the drink with piss. She takes the drinks into the dining room and the visitor samples the Pepsi and the other 'leading cola beverage'. After much noisy deliberation the visitor makes his decision and chooses Pepsi.

The host is aghast until his wife steps forward and explains her suspicion that when their guest slipped out to wash his hands before dinner he saw the open cola bottles and micturated into the non-Pepsi glass so he would easily discern which was the unadulterated Pepsi and which was laced with wee.

The visitor shrugs and admits his cunning ruse almost worked. The host's wife pins the visitor to his chair while the host clambers onto the dinner table, unbuttons his trousers and pisses in the visitor's grimacing face. In the closing shot the daughter returns to the room wearing gardening gloves, slowly chopping a rusty pair of shears; hungry Fido licks his lips.

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